'Hi, Billy Mays here for your Cleveland Indians. Oh, wait, isn't he gone now? Oh well! Call now!' The Twins love your fanship so much they will throw in a classic Johan Santana signed ball. Come make some noise in the loudest ballpark out there. Only one other ballpark offers something this nice.

Yes, it's cold up here, but while rooting for these Twinkies, you'll be plenty comfortable in climate-controlled Hubert H. 'Hi, Billy Mays here for the Minnesota Twins. Call now, and we'll even throw in a free fight with A.J. They come as just one of seven teams to win a World Series this decade. All of you Rednecks who thing baseball is a bunch of boring BS, here's the team you should root for. Billy Mays here for the toughest, baddest team out there, the Chicago White Sox. 'Watch these bad boys finally make baseball hot again. Be the first on your block to certify your fanship, because if they start winning, you can brag you were the first. Watch Adam Jones fly though the outfield and Matt Wieters catch fastballs speeding along from Jeremy Guthrie. Slowly but surely, they are making their way to being a great team. 'Are you ready for a hot return to the past? Hi, Billy Mays here for the surfacing Baltimore Orioles. You want to root for the underdog, right? Call now!' Call now, and we'll throw in a free, ultra-loud cowbell. The Rays are the only team offering an updated AL championship. You can join us Ray’s fans inside noisy Tropicana Field. Calling now will insure your fanship for years to come. 'Billy Mays here to make some noise for the Tampa Bay Rays. Call now, and you'll even get an autographed Papi jersey! Don't pull a Bill Buckner! Call now!' That’s more than any other team is offering. Call now, and we'll throw in not one, but two World Series wins this decade. From Pedroia to Papi to Teki to Youk, you'll have a blast with these Sox. A group of fun-loving idiots, you'll fall in love with every player. The best team this decade, you're sure to a lifetime of fun and excitement. 'Hi, Billy Mays here for the Boston Red Sox. And, they come with a lifetime excitement guarantee! Who could say no to Roy Halladay? Call now!' They are so middle of the road, every game will be exciting.

'Hi! Billy Mays here for the Toronto Blue Jays.

Billy mays get on the ball